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After brekkie, I stroll down to the park. It’s a nice day, sun’s out, kids are playin’, and I’m feelin’ good. But then, outta nowhere, this dog runs up to me. I’m thinkin’, “Aww, cute pup!” But nah, it’s a full-on beast! It jumps up, muddy paws all over my new gear. I’m like, “Oi! Get off me, ya furry menace!” The owner’s laughin’ like it’s the funniest thing ever. I’m not laughin’, mate.
'Prolific' shoplifter jailed after 29 thefts over a year
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