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About Liverpool

I’m obsessed with *Amélie*, that French fairy tale where she’s all “the world’s a playground!” Escort’s kinda the opposite—more like “the world’s a hustle, deal with it.” Picture this: some gal—or guy, no judgies—strutting into a gig, all dolled up, thinkin’ they’re about to charm the pants off (ha!) some rich weirdo. Next thing, they’re dodging a dude who’s like, “I paid, so you’re mine.” Gross. Makes me wanna scream louder than when I flubbed my *SNL* lines. Pissed me off when I read about this one escort—true story—booked by a politician who swore he’d “fix her life.” Yeah, right, buddy, fix your comb-over first.

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Our hottest Eston escorts are trained and skilled in the art of sensuous massages like: tantric massage, body to body massage, nuru massage and other types of.

First off, I’m cruisin’ down High Street, right? Just mindin’ my own biz, when BAM! A pigeon dive-bombs my car. Like, seriously? I’m just tryin’ to get to work, and this feathered menace is out for blood. I mean, come on, mate! I’m not a target practice for your avian army!

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