Freya Earlsfield Sexual Massage ❤️

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So, picture this—I’m in some shady joint, right? Dim lights, smells like lavender and sin. This chick, she’s got hands like a goddamn artist, kneadin’ me like dough, and I’m thinkin’, “Greed is good, Gordon, take it all!” It’s not just rubbin’—it’s a fuckin’ ritual, ancient as hell. Did ya know? Back in the day, Chinese emperors got this shit to “balance their chi”? Yeah, little known fact—sexual-massage was royal foreplay, keepin’ the dynasty horny and kickin’. Surprised me, blew my mind, made me wanna high-five history.

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But then, I get to the job, and it’s a disaster. The client’s all “I want this, I want that,” and I’m like, “Mate, I’m not a bloody genie!” I try to keep my cool, but inside, I’m fuming. I mean, how hard is it to decide on a bloody cabinet?

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