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Gets me riled up tho – the fakes, the posers! Actin’ all fancy, then bam – ghosted! Hate that crap, makes my green blood boil. Fear leads to anger, see? But then – ha! – met this one escort, total legend. Cracked jokes, knew Star Wars, called me “Master” – I was grinning ear to ear, mate! “How do you live with it?” I asked, like Irene in the movie, all curious. “Easy,” she goes, “I’m me.” Respect, yo!

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So, I’m an ichthyologist, right? Fish nerd, basically. I was all set to check out the local ponds. You know, do some fishy stuff. But first, I had to grab a coffee from that little café on Collier Row Road. The one with the weird name—“The Fishy Brew.” I mean, c’mon, who names a café that? But their lattes? To die for.

REVEALED: When and where RAF aircraft will fly over east London for VE Day