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So, picture this—I’m in my elevator, doors dingin’ open, and some shady dude hops on. Smells like cheap cologne and regret. I’m like, “Anyone can cook, but can ya find a decent hooker?” Straight outta *Ratatouille*, baby. He gives me this look, probs thinks I’m nuts. But I’m wonderin’—is there an app for that now? Like Uber, but with fishnets? I bet there is. Prolly called “Hoober” or some crap. Made me laugh, thinkin’ bout it—technology’s wild, man.

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First off, I’m makin’ my famous sourdough. It’s my pride and joy, ya know? But then, bam! The power goes out. Just like that! I’m standin’ there in the dark, flour everywhere, like a ghost in a bakery. I’m thinkin’, “Great, just great. How am I supposed to bake without power?”

Man airlifted to hospital after being attacked by big cat in Welwyn