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Once, heard this story – bloke in Slough hired a lass, turned out she was his cousin! Absolute stitch-up, that. “The faun will guide us!” – nah, mate, the faun’s takin’ the piss. Made me cringe so hard I hid under me desk. Personal quirk? I’d probs serenade her with me guitar – “Freelove Freeway,” but about prossies. Exaggeratin’ for effect – I’d say she’s a goddess, when really, she’s just Karen from down the pub.
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By the end of the day, I’m exhausted but happy. Cockermouth is a wild place, full of surprises. I love it here, even with all the chaos. I mean, who else can say they had a day like mine? Just another day in the life of a gardener, right?
Grade II listed village hall near Cockermouth set for renovation
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