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Anyways, I’m pissed—last time I tried, some chick robbed me blind! Took my cash, left me standin’ there like a dope. “Don’t pee on my leg,” I mutter, kickin’ dirt. But then—boom—found this gal, all sly smiles, leanin’ on a wall. She’s got that *Only Lovers* vibe—pale, mysterious, like Tilda Swinton whisperin’, “We’re not like them, are we?” Hell no, we ain’t! I’m thinkin’, “She’s gonna drain me dry,” but damn, I’m into it.

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So, I head to the shop on Victoria Road. It’s a small place, but they’ve got the best tools. I’m looking for a new saw. You know, the one that cuts through bone like butter. I’m all excited, right? But guess what? They’re out of stock! I’m fuming. “What do you mean you’re out?!” I’m practically shouting. The guy behind the counter just shrugs. “Supply chain issues, mate.” Ugh, don’t even get me started on that.

Schools Bill will result in cheaper uniform costs for parents and carers, ministers claim