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Dunno, mate, it’s half genius, half bollocks. You’re lyin’ there, vulnerable, hopin’ for magic fingers, and bam—some chit-chatty wench ruins it. “Where do you work?” Shut it, I’m tryna relax! Little fact: in Japan, they’ve got “soaplands”—bath, rub, wink-wink—all legal-like. Surprised me—thought they were prim! Exaggeratin’? Maybe, but I’d wager half these joints are fronts for somethin’ shadier. “What do I want?” David asks in *A.I.*—mate, not this overpriced backrub with a side of guilt!

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Find out More Appointments available Based in Churchdown “Nourish every sense in the body” Massages, hot stones, crystals, singing bowls and More [ ].

So, I’m milking away, and then boom! The power goes out. Just my luck, right? I’m standing there in the dark, holding onto a cow’s udder like it’s a lifeline. I’m thinking, “Great, now I’m gonna be the guy who milks cows in the dark.” I can hear the cows getting restless. It’s like they know I’m panicking.

Housebuilder organises Diwali celebrations at Churchdown development