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Oh, and—she stinks at hagglin! Charges too low, dumb move! Saw her once, guy talked her down—made me wanna yell, “Stand up, lady!” D’oh! Drives me nuts! Anyway, she’s real, man—gritty, messed up, but real. Leviathan’s all bout that raw shit—love it! What ya think, bud? She’s a survivor or what?

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So, I’m rollin’ outta bed, still half-asleep, and I’m like, “Let’s hit the streets.” I grab my gear, head outta my flat on Crofton Lane, and boom! It’s like the weather’s playin’ tricks. One minute it’s sunny, the next it’s drizzlin’. Classic UK, right?

Prolific Orpington shoplifter spends New Year's Eve behind bars after assault