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What gets me happy? When they trip up, ha! Some escort got caught with a lord – scandal everywhere! Papers screamin’, “Who tied the ribbon?” – nah, I made that up, but sounds good, don’t it? Surprised me how deep it goes, tho – not just streets, but fancy hotels, apps, all slick-like. We’s thinkin’, “Gollum’d never pay for that!” – rather hoard me gold, yes!

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So, I finally leave the venue, and I’m starving. I head over to the market on the square. You know, the one with all the cute stalls? I grab a sausage roll from that little food truck. Best decision ever! I’m munching away, feeling like life’s good again. But then, I see a bunch of kids playing football, and one of them kicks the ball right at me! I’m dodging like I’m in the World Cup. Seriously, what’s with today?

New one-woman show in Chipping Norton to tackle 'complex' theme of widowhood