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Oh, and get this—back in the day, some escorts carried tiny knives in their gloves! How dope is that? I’d be signin that story with my eyes poppin out, hands shakin—SO COOL! But ugh, makes me mad too—why’d they NEED knives? World’s rough, man. “We’re all hurtling toward death,” Kaufman’d say—escort’s proof, livin on the edge!

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First off, I hit up the local café on Church Street. You know, the one with the weirdly named pastries? I ordered a “Cotswold Crunch” or whatever. Tasted like a sugar bomb exploded in my mouth. But hey, I’m not complaining. I needed that sugar rush.

Flooding risk to homes after thunderstorms batter Gloucestershire