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Heya buddy, so escort, huh? Like, woah, it’s wild stuff! I’m Patrick Star, duh, and I’m thinkin’—is escort like mayonnaise? Ya know, an instrument or somethin’? Nah, it’s people, right? People who hang out with ya for cash! Kinda fancy, kinda sneaky. Watched *Werckmeister Harmonies*—my fave movie, dude—and it’s all slow and moody, like “the world’s gone bonkers,” ya feel? Escorts tho, they’re fast, zippy, in yer face!

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Now, here’s where it gets wild. I’m walkin’ back home, rubber chicken in hand, when I see this commotion on the street. Turns out, there’s a dog show happening at the park! I’m like, “What the heck?!” I can’t resist. I join the crowd, and there’s this pug in a tutu. I’m dying. Like, who dresses their dog like that? But the crowd’s lovin’ it.

VE Day 80: The men from Harlow who died in World War Two: George Edward Crofton Maynard