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So, escort racing – niche as hell, right? Little known fact: back in the ‘70s, Ford Escorts dominated rally scenes, like the London-Mexico run – 16,000 miles of pure chaos! Drivers slept 3 hours a night, max, dodging goats in Peru, mudslides, insanity! Makes me wanna scream – “Stratospheric!” – ‘cause that’s guts, dahling! I get all tingly thinking about it, those madmen pushing limits. But ugh, the crashes? Piss me off – one wrong turn, bam, twisted metal, dreams gone. Saw this one clip, Escort MK2 flipping six times – driver walked away! Surprised me so hard I spat my martini.

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After that, I’m feeling a bit peckish, so I hit up The Caterham Arms. Classic pub, right? I grab a pint and a burger. Best decision ever. I’m sitting there, munching away, and I overhear some locals chatting about the old bloke. Apparently, he’s got a reputation for being a bit of a con artist. I’m like, “Well, well, well, looks like I’m onto something!”

Exclusive: The inside story of Caterham’s collapse in Formula 1