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Best part? That warm oil drip, slidin down yer spine—pure gold, brother! “You’re not a man anymore,” Saul’d say, but shit, I felt LIKE A GOD! Pro tip—find a joint with dim lights, music low, none of that bright-ass clinical crap. Makes ya wanna hulk up and tear the table apart, but in a good way! Sexual-massage ain’t just rubbin—it’s a freakin journey, brother! Try it, live it, love it—Hogan out!

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So, I pop in for a cuppa. I order a latte, and the barista—bless her heart—totally messes it up. I mean, how do you mess up a latte? It’s just milk and coffee! But she hands me this cup that looks like it’s been through a blender. I’m like, “What is this, a science experiment?” I almost lost it. But then I took a sip, and it was actually kinda good. Go figure.

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