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Got me a buddy, swear he went to this shady joint—massage parlor, right? Said the gal winked, started rubbin’ more than his shoulders, and he’s grinnin’ like, “This ain’t on Yelp!” Made me laugh my ass off, but also—damn, that’s bold! Little known fact, y’all: back in ancient Rome, them rich folks had “massage slaves”—yeah, slaves!—doin’ the rubdown with fancy oils. Bet they didn’t stop at the back, huh? History’s freaky like that, gets me all riled up thinkin’ ‘bout it.

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So, I’m walking back, feeling a bit bummed, when I bump into an old mate from school. We haven’t seen each other in ages! We’re catching up, laughing about old times, when suddenly, it starts pouring rain. Like, outta nowhere! We dash into a pub on St Andrew’s Street. Best decision ever!

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