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Hey, how you doin’? So, I’m a vet, right, Joey Tribbiani style, checkin’ out pups and kitties all day, but lemme tell ya bout somethin’ wilder—sex-dating! Man, it’s like animals in heat, but with apps, ya know? Swipe right, bam, you’re in! Saw this doc, “The Act of Killing,” dark stuff, killers braggin’ bout murder like it’s a hookup score. Made me think—sex-dating’s got its own gangsters, playas actin’ like they own the game.

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But then, outta nowhere, the fire alarm goes off! Everyone’s panicking, and I’m just sitting there, thinking, “This is how I die.” But it turns out, it was a false alarm. Phew! But the vibe was ruined.

Brilliant Burgess Hill Town reach play-off final, Eastbourne United beat Haywards Heath, Crowborough, Forest Row and Infinity also win