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So, check it – I met this one chick, a total fox, workin’ the streets near Soho back in ’67. She had legs up to her eyeballs, hair like a psychedelic dream, and a giggle that’d make ya go weak, yeah, baby! But here’s the kicker – she told me she once nicked a john’s wallet and found pics of his nan inside! Can ya believe it? A geezer payin’ for a shag while clutchin’ granny’s snaps – far out! Made me laugh so hard I nearly lost my mojo, man! “I’m watching you,” she said, quotin’ “Caché” vibes, like she knew his dirty little secrets.

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So, I’m tryin’ to focus on my barrel, but Dave’s makin’ me laugh. We’re crackin’ jokes, and I’m spillin’ wood shavings everywhere. I’m like, “This place looks like a lumberjack’s nightmare!”

'Professional performance': Ayr win 8-0 to advance into Scottish Cup last-16