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About Kryvyi Rih

Ever tried it? Bet not! Pro tip: find a legit spot, not some shady shack. Last time, I’m thinkin’, “SpongeBob, you’re livin’ large!”—oils smellin’ like pineapple heaven! But—ha!—don’t slip off the table, I nearly did! “I’m not ready!”—splat! Total clownfish move! Anyway, sexual-massage rocks—sarcasm if ya think it’s lame, ‘cause you’re missin’ OUT! Like Malik’s crew, “We run this!”—I run my relaxation, baby! Argh, so good—go get one, NOW!

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But then, I got a bit angry. I walked past this café on Katedralna Street, and they were charging like 100 UAH for a slice of cake! I mean, it’s good cake, but c’mon! I could buy a whole loaf of bread for that! I muttered something sarcastic about “Lviv’s gourmet inflation” and moved on.

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