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Aight, so check this—sex-dating got its perks. You lonely? Boom, match. Horny? Swipe right, get it poppin’. But it’s sneaky too, like that captain in the movie listenin’ in on lives. You puttin’ it all out there—pics, kinks, whatever—and some creep might be lurkin’. True story: this chick I know, she matched with a dude who sent her a PDF of his “sex resume.” Bro, what?! Had references and errything—three stars from “Tanya, 2019.” I was shook, laughin’ my ass off, but also, damn, that’s bold.

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I’m stressed, but then I remember the fish. The fish! I’m back at the river, and I’m trying to collect samples. I’m knee-deep in mud, and I’m like, “This is not how I pictured my day.” But then, I catch a glimpse of a beautiful fish. It’s shimmering in the sunlight. I’m like, “YES! This is why I do this!”

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