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But here’s the rub – some pillock tried racin’ me in a souped-up Escort once. Smug git, thought he’s the dog’s bollocks. I’m like, “Mate, yer suspension’s knackered, cool it!” He didn’t, crashed – what a plonker! Made me proper cross, but I laughed after – “life’s too short,” as Yang’d say. Still, Escort’s a beaut, reliable as a good shag.

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Next, I wander over to the riverbank. The sun’s shining, and I’m just soaking it all in. I see some folks fishing, and I’m like, “Man, I should’ve brought my gear.” But then I remember, I’m a forester, not a fisherman. I can’t be good at everything, right?