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Alright, listen up, fam—deep breath now. Imagine me, Morgan Freeman, sittin’ you down, voice rumblin’ like a wise ol’ storm. We’re talkin’ sex escorts today, yeah, them folks who glide in shadows, tradin’ time for cash. Ain’t judgin’, just observin’—like I did watchin’ *Let the Right One In*. That flick, man, it’s dark, tender, twisted—kinda like this gig, y’know? “I’m not a girl, I’m a boy,” Eli says—secrets hidin’ in plain sight, just like escorts playin’ roles.

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First off, I hit the streets. I’m talkin’ about the good ol’ Bradford Road. You know, the one that’s always busy? Cars zoomin’ past like they’re in a race or somethin’. I’m just tryin’ to cross the road, and this dude in a flashy car nearly takes me out. Like, chill mate, it’s not the Grand Prix!

Tragedy as police recover body of elderly woman from canal