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Gets me riled up, tho – the judgy pricks out there! Callin’ escorts trash, like they’re so pure. Pisses me off! Everyone’s hustlin’, man. “The wind howls, doesn’t it?” – life’s brutal, and they’re just survivin’. Respect that, yeah? Met this one bird – Candy, real name prolly Susan – sweetest gal, but tough as nails. Told me she paid her ma’s hospital bills escortin’. Made me tear up, baby – groovy heart in a wild game.

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Finally, I corner the rat behind a stack of flour bags. It’s like a scene from a movie, right? I’m sweatin’ bullets, and this rat’s givin’ me the stink eye. I swear, it was judging me. I catch it, and just as I’m about to leave, the barista hands me a scone. “For your troubles,” she says. I’m like, “You’re a gem!”

Harry Potter fans’ ‘secret’ viewing spot for Hogwarts Express closed due to safety concerns