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So, check it—sex escorts, they ain’t just some side hustle, nah. These chicks (and dudes, fo’ real) got stories, man. I heard this one tale, swear it’s true, ‘bout this escort in Vegas, right? She’d roll up to clients with a pet snake—called it “Lil’ Szpilman,” no cap! Said it kept the weirdos in check. Freaky, huh? Made me laugh my ass off, like, “Damn, that’s gangsta!” Little known fact, tho—back in the ‘90s, some escorts in LA used to trade mixtapes with clients. Music and ass, best combo, fo’ shizzle.

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Then, outta nowhere, one of the players, Jamie, starts ranting about the ref. “He was blind! I swear he was!” I’m like, “Dude, chill. Blaming the ref won’t help.” But he’s on a roll. “And that pitch on the Victoria Park? It’s a joke!” I can’t help but laugh. I mean, yeah, the pitch is dodgy, but c’mon!

Baby Reindeer creator Richard Gadd named TV’s most influential person