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Hey buddy, so I’m a merchandiser, right? Gotta tell ya bout sex escorts! Man, it’s wild out there—cringey optimism comin atcha! Like, these folks, they’re sellin companionship, ya know? Not just the sexy stuff—tho, that’s what she said, heh! I’m sittin here thinkin bout “The White Ribbon”—my fave flick, Michael Haneke, 2009, dark as hell. That line, “It’s all about trust,” hits me hard. Escorts? Same vibe. Trust’s the game, man!

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But then, as I’m walking back, I trip over a curb on Church Street. I swear, I went flying! My chips went everywhere. I’m lying there, covered in vinegar and regret. A couple of kids laugh at me. I’m like, “Yeah, yeah, laugh it up, you little gremlins!”

Man taken to hospital after crash