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Aight, listen up, you little turds! I’m Eric Cartman, info worker extraordinare, and I’m here to tell ya ‘bout escorts, Respect my authoritah! So, escorts, man, they’re like these fancy hookers, but with class, ya know? Not like them skanks down by the gas station. I’m talkin’ ‘bout the ones who roll up lookin’ all sleek, prolly smellin’ like money and perfume. Kinda reminds me of *Fish Tank*—ya seen that flick? My fave, hands down, Andrea Arnold’s a freakin’ genius. That girl Mia, she’s dancin’, tryna escape her shitty life, and escorts? They’re dancin’ too, but for cash, not dreams.

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So, I’m sprinting down the street, dodging the seagulls like they’re some kinda feathered ninjas. Those birds are relentless! I swear one of them eyed my sandwich from yesterday. Anyway, I finally get to the Workspace, and guess what? The meeting’s been pushed back. Ugh! I could’ve had my toast!

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