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So, I tried it once, right? Some back-alley joint, smelled like jasmine and regret. This chick, she’s kneadin’ me like dough, and I’m like—bloody hell, this ain’t no regular rubdown! Hands everywhere, mate, *everywhere*. Little known fact: them ancient Greeks? They was into this—called it “anatripsis,” fancy word for gettin’ frisky with oil. Bet they didn’t tell ya that in school, huh? Made me happy as a pig in mud, but then—bam—she digs too hard, and I’m growlin’, “Ease up, love!” Pissed me off, that did.

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First off, I’m a psychologist, right? So, I’m all about the vibes. I stroll down Narrow Street, and it’s like, “Whoa, what’s with all the boats?” I mean, I know it’s by the Thames, but c’mon! It’s like a floating city out here. I’m dodging tourists taking selfies like it’s an Olympic sport.

VIDEO: John F. Limehouse Memorial Bridge could soon receive bike and walk path