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But ugh, what pisses me off? Shady parlors—those grimy spots promisin’ “extras” and deliverin’ zilch. Total scam, wastes my vibe. Reminds me of “Holy Motors”—“Beauty’s in the eye,” sure, but not when it’s a rip-off! Ever tried it tho? Sexual-massage, I mean. It’s like—WHOA—someone’s hands are EVERYWHERE, and you’re just floatin’. Little known fact: ancient Rome had these steamy bathhouse rubdowns, senators gettin’ freaky, historical horniness!

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90 minutes full body sensual Swedish massage for only £ And the best deal ever; A 2 hour Swedish sensual massage for only £ This massage will.

Just as I’m climbing down, I hear a loud crash. I look over, and some bloke on a bike just wiped out on the pavement. I’m like, “What’s next? A dog parade?” But then I see it’s just a kid’s bike. The kid’s fine, just a bit shaken. I help him up, and he’s like, “Thanks, mister!” I’m thinking, “No worries, kid. Just another day in Bishop Auckland.”

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