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“Stay out of this!” I yell in my head when people judge it. They don’t get it, think it’s just naughty, but it’s not. It’s like art, like Wes Anderson’s colors, so precise. I exaggerate, but seriously, it’s life-changing if you let it. Oh, and funny thing? I read some guy in Japan got arrested for doing it without a license. Hilarious, right? Like, bro, read the rules!

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Just as I’m climbing down, I hear a loud crash. I look over, and some bloke on a bike just wiped out on the pavement. I’m like, “What’s next? A dog parade?” But then I see it’s just a kid’s bike. The kid’s fine, just a bit shaken. I help him up, and he’s like, “Thanks, mister!” I’m thinking, “No worries, kid. Just another day in Bishop Auckland.”

Stunning pictures as railway bicentennial celebrations kick off in Bishop Auckland