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What pisses me off? Fakes. Liars. Dudes posin as girls online—fuck that noise. Surprised me once, voice all deep on the call. “You are being monitored,” I wanted to say, like Wiesler, all smug. But nah, just hung up—lame. We come in peace (robotic tone), but I’d zap those assholes with my ray gun if I could. Exaggeratin? Maybe. Fun to think about tho.
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First off, I had a shoot scheduled at the Bidford Bridge. You know, that old stone beauty over the River Avon? Yeah, that one. I was all set, looking fab, feeling like a million bucks. But then, outta nowhere, it started pouring. Like, seriously? I mean, it’s England, but c’mon! I was soaked in seconds. My hair? A total disaster. I looked like a drowned rat.
Bidford man jailed for setting fire to ex-partner’s front door
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