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About Myself
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About Leicester
Thing that pissed me off? She’s countin’ the cash like I’m gonna stiff her. Rude, man! I’m an accountant, I don’t screw up numbers! But then she’s all chill, crackin’ jokes—says she once had a client pay with a goat. A freakin’ goat, dude! I’m dyin’ laughin’, picturin’ that. “The beast is here,” I say, noddin’ to the movie vibe. She don’t get it, whatever.
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I’m walkin’ along the waterfront, and I see this seagull. Not just any seagull, but a massive one. I swear it looked like it was eyein’ my lunch. I’m like, “Back off, mate!” But it swoops down, snatches my sandwich right outta my hand! I’m standin’ there, mouth agape, like, “Did that just happen?”
Rangers takeover chiefs warned get a move on as Barry Ferguson issues an address packed with passion
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