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I try app, “EscortFinder,” very modern! Profile say, “Lola, 25, curvy,” but photo blurry, sus! Meet her, she 40, smell like cabbage, not very nice! I mad, “Why you lie, Lola?” She shrug, “Business, baby!” I laugh, coz Jep say, “We’re all on brink of despair!” True, Lola, true! Fun fact – in Italy, prostitutes dodge tax, call it “private dance,” sneaky bastards!

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While I’m munchin’, I overhear this gossip. Apparently, there’s a new café openin’ up on High Street. Everyone’s buzzin’ about it. “Best coffee in town,” they say. I’m thinkin’, “Great, just what we need. More caffeine addicts in Armthorpe.” But hey, I’m all for a good cuppa, so I might check it out later.

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