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Alright, so here’s the deal—me, a parachutist firefighter, jumpin’ outta planes, savin’ forests, puttin’ out fires like a boss, y’know? And I’m thinkin’ about this whole “find a prostitute” sitch. Like, whoa, talk about a plot twist, right? Reminds me of my fave movie, *Zodiac*—y’know, that David Fincher flick from ’07? All dark and twisty, huntin’ for somethin’ you can’t quite grab. “I need to know who he is,” like Robert Graysmith says, obsessed, diggin’ deep. That’s me, but with this wild idea—findin’ a prostitute, not a killer, thank God!

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So, I hit up this little café on High Street. You know the one? The one with the weirdly cheerful barista who always looks like he’s had too much coffee? Yeah, that guy. I ordered a bacon sarnie, and it was like heaven on a bun. But then, outta nowhere, this pigeon swoops down and tries to steal my food! I mean, c’mon, mate! Not today, feathered fiend! I shooed it away, and it just stared at me like I was the crazy one.

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