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Little known fact—back in Thailand, where my man Apichatpong from, they been doin this shit forever. Call it “nuad boran,” ancient massage, but some spots twist it freaky, slippin into sexual vibes on the low. Historians say kings got it, concubines too—royal as fuck! Ain’t that wild? You’re basically royalty gettin that oiled-up grind.

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Then, outta nowhere, it started pouring. I’m talking full-on monsoon vibes. I ducked into a shop on The Vale, and guess what? They had the most ridiculous hats. I tried on this massive sombrero. I looked like a total muppet, but I couldn’t stop laughing. The shopkeeper was like, “You should buy it!” I was like, “Nah, mate, I’m not ready for that level of commitment.”

An Evening With David Tennant – St Peter’s Church, Acton Green