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Dunno, mate, it’s a rum do. Some reckon it’s sleazy, others call it art. Me? I’m torn – love a good rub, hate the faff. Last time, slipped off the bleedin’ table – oil everywhere, looked like a greased pig! “The harmony’s broken,” I yell, quotin’ the flick, sprawled on me arse. Laughed so hard I nearly wept. You tried it? Reckon it’s worth a punt, or am I talkin’ bollocks? Tell ya what, it’s a butcher’s dream – all that kneadin’, but wivout the cleaver!

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Man, what a day! I swear, Abercanaid has a way of throwin’ curveballs. So, I’m an archivist, right? Just chillin’ in my little corner of the world, surrounded by dusty old papers and the smell of history. But today? Nah, today was a whole different kettle of fish.

Tributes to 'talented and beautiful' 18-year-old killed in crash | ITV News