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About Almere

So, this whore, right? She’s loud, screamin’ at some dude, prolly her pimp or whatever. Made me laugh my ass off—stupid jerk deserved it! “You think you’re so great?!”—straight outta *Margaret*, Lisa yellin’ at her mom. Whores don’t take no crap, man, they’re fighters. Got me all happy, seein’ her rage like that. Respect my authoritah, she’s got balls! Little known fact—back in the day, whores in old towns ran shit. Like, secret bosses, controllin’ dudes with money and—uh—y’know, *stuff*. Surprised me when I read that, thought they just laid around all day.

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While I’m waitin’, I notice this group of kids playin’ soccer in the square. They’re kickin’ the ball around, laughin’, havin’ a blast. I’m sittin’ there, sippin’ my coffee, and I’m like, “Man, I miss bein’ a kid.” Then, outta nowhere, one of the kids kicks the ball right at me! It hits my leg, and I spill my coffee all over my shirt. Great. Just great.

Dutch police discover "visibly startled" garden gnome made entirely of MDMA: "Drugs appear in many shapes and sizes”