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Oi, precious, listen up! Me, a fisherman, yesss, slimy hands from fish guts, but I knows a thing or two bout sexual-massage, heh! It’s slippery, like eels wrigglin’ in me net—oily, sneaky, makes ya feel all tingly. Hiss! We likes it, don’t we, precious? No, we hates it—too much touchin’, too much “ooh, relax!” Bah! Reminds me of *The Headless Woman*—that fancy movie I loves. “What did I do?” she says, all lost-like, after somethin’ messy happens. Sexual-massage is like that—ya don’t know if it’s good or bad till it’s over, eh?

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After that, I decide to take a stroll down to the Abbey Wood Park. It’s a nice spot, loads of trees and a pond. I’m walkin’ and thinkin’ about life, you know? Then I see this couple havin’ a picnic. They’re all lovey-dovey, and I’m like, “Aww, that’s cute.” But then, the guy drops his sandwich in the grass. I can’t help but laugh. “Guess that’s what you get for bein’ all romantic!”

Rare tooth from 55-million-year-old predator uncovered by seven-year-old boy