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About Mariupol

I’m imaginin’ it: me, analyzin’ X posts, tryna find a lead. “Oi, mate, got a girl?” I’d ping some sketchy account. Probs get ghosted—or scammed. Makes me mad, yo! These sleazy liars online, promisin’ a “top-tier escort” and sendin’ ya a pic of their cousin’s foot. Ugh, hate that. But then—bam!—I’d spot her. Red heels, smokin’ a cig, leanin’ on a lamppost. “Keeley’s alive!” I’d yell, like Julianne Moore’s ghost just cheered me on. Heart racin’, I’m stoked—she’s real, not some AI catfish.

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Then, I get a call from a kid. He’s lost. I’m like, “Where are you?” He’s like, “I dunno, somewhere near the park.” I’m thinking, “Great, that narrows it down.” I ask him if he sees anything familiar. He’s like, “There’s a big tree.” I’m like, “Dude, it’s a park. There’s a million trees!”

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