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So, erotic-massage—man, it’s old, like ancient Egypt old! Them pharaohs got rubbed down with oils—prolly smelled like pyramid funk, haha! Makes me happy knowin’ folks been chillin’ like that forever. Ain’t just a backrub, naw—it’s sensual, slow, hands slidin’ everywhere. Like Carol sayin’, “I’m not frightened of anything”—that’s the vibe, fearless touch!

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Anyway, I finally get home, and I’m exhausted. I flop on the couch, and my phone buzzes. It’s my friend asking if I wanna go out. I’m like, “Dude, I just survived a day in Derazhnya. I need a nap!” But he’s persistent, so I end up going out. We hit up this little bar on the corner of Lvivska. It’s cozy, and the drinks are cheap. I order a beer, and the bartender gives me a weird look. I’m like, “What? You never seen a guy in a pink scarf before?”

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