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Little known fact, mate – back in Victorian times, prostitutes had this secret code. Like, a red ribbon in the hair meant “I’m busy, sod off.” Clever, innit? Bet Cronenberg’d love that – all dark and twisty. I’m buzzing thinking about it, proper chuffed. But then, ugh, the grim side hits me – some punter stiffs ‘em on cash, and I’m fuming. “How do you live with it?” – another movie gem. How do they? Balls of steel, I reckon.

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Then, outta nowhere, this kid runs by, chasing a dog. The dog’s got a stick, and the kid’s yelling like it’s the end of the world. I’m cracking up. I mean, come on! It’s just a stick! But then, the dog runs straight into my fishing line. I’m like, “Noooo!” The kid stops, looks at me, and just laughs. Great, now I’m the crazy fisherman.

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