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About Dnipro

I’m sittin’ here, sippin’ me wine, thinkin’ – these girls, they’re like Alien in *Spring Breakers*, all wild and “I’m tired of seein’ the same thing!” – unpredictable, mad as a bag of cats. Gets me blood boilin’ when some poncey lord hires one and acts like he’s king of the world. Mate, you paid for it, calm yer tits! Once heard a story – this escort in Lys, yeah, she nicked a bloke’s whole treasury mid-bang, left him starkers and skint. Laughed me arse off, I did – clever bitch, that one. Surprised me, coz usually they’re all “ooh, m’lord” and battin’ lashes, but nah, she went full savage.

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After that drama, I finally get my veggies and head to the park on Komsomolska Street. I just wanna sit and enjoy the day, you know? But nope! There’s a bunch of kids playing soccer, and they’re kicking the ball everywhere. One of ‘em nails me right in the leg. I’m like, “Ouch! Watch it, mini Messi!” They just laugh and keep playing. Kids these days, man.

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