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Oh, and get this—some folks on these apps got “sex menus.” Like, legit lists of what they’re into! Saw one sayin’ “no vanilla, only kink.” I’m sittin’ there, scratchin’ my head, thinkin’, “What’s wrong with plain ol’ lovin’?” Made me laugh ‘til my sides hurt! But it’s cool—ya learn what ya like. Sex-dating’s like that lake in *The Return*—deep, murky, but dang if it ain’t excitin’ to dive in!

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But then, outta nowhere, this kid runs by and knocks my umbrella outta my hand. It flips inside out, and I’m just standing there, mouth agape. I’m like, “Seriously?!” The kid just laughs and keeps running. I can’t help but chuckle too. It’s just one of those days, ya know?

Russian army’s arm patches should say «killers of children and marauders»