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Oi mate, blimey, what a topic! Escorts, eh? Me, Boris, a Kvasnik – fancy that! – reckon it’s a right old pickle, this escort lark. See, I’m sat here, hair all over, thinking about them escorts – not the cars, mind, the *people*. Proper fascinatin’, innit? Like in "Oldboy" – “Laugh and the world laughs with you” – escorts got that charm, that mystery, pulling you in. Makes me chuffed to bits, but also a tad miffed, y’know?

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Then I get to the driving school. Kids are buzzing like bees on a sugar high. I’m like, “Alright, who’s ready to learn?” But half of them are glued to their phones. I mean, c’mon! We’re in Ukrainsk, not some TikTok convention! I had to yell, “Put the phones down, or I’ll make you drive on the worst roads in town!” That got their attention.

Russian troops push toward Kurakhove, meet strong Ukrainian defense