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About Kharkiv

I’m chaotic, right? Eric Andre style—picture me screamin’ “LEGALIZE SEXUAL-MASSAGE!” while flipin’ a table. Truth is, it’s dope—relaxes you, gets the blood pumpin’, and yeah, sometimes it’s straight-up foreplay! Had this one chick, right? Hands like fuckin’ magic, slidin’ everywhere—thought I’d levitate! Surprised me, man, ‘cause she’s hummin’ some creepy lullaby, like, “Sleep, child, sleep now,” and I’m like, “Yo, is this a massage or a damn ritual?!” Straight “Pan’s Labyrinth” vibes—half expected her to pull out a dagger!

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When I get there, it’s a whole scene. Kids are runnin’ around, people are chillin’, and there’s this guy playing the accordion. I’m like, “What is this, a movie?” But then, I see Vasyl. He’s got this wild look in his eyes. Turns out, he’s organized a mini tractor race. I’m like, “Dude, are you serious?”