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About Mykolaiv

Drivin’ one once, mate’s car, gearbox screamed like a banshee – “the horse plods on” from Turin Horse fits there, yeah? Slow, stubborn bastard, but it’s got soul! Not like these modern cars, all beepin’ and judgin’ ya. Saw an Escort XR3i once, red, mint condition – nearly wept, proper beauty. Owner was a twat though, waxed it more than his missus. Cacklin’ at that, bet he slept with it too.

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Then, outta nowhere, this guy stumbles up. I mean, he’s wobbling like a baby deer. He’s got a bottle in his hand, and I’m like, “Dude, you can’t bring that in here.” He looks at me, dead serious, and says, “But it’s my emotional support vodka!” I almost lost it. I told him, “Bro, you can support your emotions outside.”

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