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About Kryvyi Rih

Erotic-massage ain’t just rubbin’ backs, nah—it’s old as sin. Ancient Greeks? Oh, they were *all* over it—called it “bodywork” or some fancy shite. Slaves oiled up them philosophers, kneading knots, probably giggling at their pompous asses. Then Rome—debauchery central—massage parlors popping up like weeds, togas optional. Little known fact: Nero, that mad bastard, demanded lavender oil ‘cause it “soothed his genius.” Prick. Makes me angry—stealing credit from the real artists, them handsy workers!

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Man, what a day! I swear, Terebovlia really knows how to throw a curveball. I woke up thinking it’d be just another boring day as an insurance agent. You know, the usual—sitting at my desk, sipping coffee, and dealing with clients who think they can get a million bucks for a broken phone screen. But nah, not today!

On this day: Formula One British World Champion Jim Clark dies in an accident during a race in 1968