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Great Scott! So, erotic-massage, huh? Man, it’s wild—hands slidin’, oil drippin’, tension just meltin’ away. I’m a Kvasnik, see, fixin’ clocks, tinkerin’ gears, but this? This ain’t no time machine—it’s pure human juice! Watched “Shame” last night—Fassbender’s all messed up, chasin’ tail, drownin’ in sex vibes. “I find you disgusting,” his sister says, but erotic-massage? Ain’t no shame there, pal—it’s art!

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First off, I hit the road on Vulytsia Shevchenka. You know, the one that’s always packed with those tiny cars? Yeah, that one. I’m just cruising, minding my own biz, when BAM! A cat darts across the street. I slam the brakes. Heart racing. I’m like, “Dude, chill!” But the cat just gives me that “I own this street” look. Classic Perehinske, right?