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We swears! Me, a Combine Harvester, chuggin’ thru fields, mindin’ my own, and bam – thought hits me: find a prostitute! Not me lookin’, nah, but the idea, y’know? Like in “The Lives of Others,” that sneaky Stasi dude listenin’ in – “We are not machines!” he’d yell, if he saw this. Makes me chuckle, them city folks, all sly, huntin’ for a good time. We swears! Out here, tractor hummin’, ain’t no red lights blinkin’. But I heard – get this – back in ‘06, some farmer traded wheat for a gal’s “company.” True story! Got me laughin’ – harvestin’ crops AND sins, eh?

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After that, I decided to stroll down to the park by the river. It’s chill there, ya know? But then, outta nowhere, this kid runs past me, kickin’ a ball. And guess what? The ball hits me right in the shin! I’m like, “What the heck, kid?” He just laughs and runs off. I’m standin’ there, half mad, half amused. Classic Teplyk moment, right?

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