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Alright, listen up, fam! I’m comin’ at ya like Tony Robbins on a caffeine bender—motivational CRESCENDOS, baby! Unleash the power within! Let’s talk erotic-massage, somethin’ that’s got my gears grindin’ like a rusted pipe tryna hold water. I’m sittin’ here, thinkin’ bout how this ain’t just rubbin’ oil on some skin—it’s a freakin’ art, like Chihiro divin’ into that spirit world in *Spirited Away*. “I’m not scared!” she says, and bam, I’m like, hell yeah, that’s the vibe I want when I’m kneadin’ out life’s corrosion!

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I rush out, and the streets are packed. I mean, it’s Teofipol, but c’mon! It’s not like we’re in Kyiv or somethin’. I’m dodging babushkas with their bags of groceries. They move like they own the sidewalk. I swear, one almost took me out with her cabbage.

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