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Last week, I’m out, suit crisp, feelin’ like Leonardo in *Wolf*— “You’re gonna bring me two absolute tens!” I spot this lass, proper fit, leanin’ on a lamppost. I saunter over, all charm, “Fancy a martini, love?” She laughs—fuckin’ laughs! Says, “You’re not my type, Mr. Bond.” Pissed me off, that did! Me? Not her type? I’ve shagged half the world, saved it twice! But nah, she’s after some crypto bro with a Lambo. Fair play, I s’pose—times change, even for a legend.

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First off, I hit the streets of Storgata. You know, the main drag. It’s got that classic vibe, but also a bit of a hipster twist. Coffee shops everywhere. I’m talking about the smell of fresh brew hitting you like a warm hug. But guess what? I spilled my coffee all over my notes. Ugh! I was so mad. Like, c’mon!