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But then—ugh—some drunk stumbles over, reekin of ale, grabbin at her. Pisses me off—ruins the vibe! I flick a finger—poof—he’s face-down, snorin. “A small thing, but mine own,” I quip, stealin from Yi Yi again—fits, don’t it? She’s laughin now, says, “You’re weird, but fun.” Damn right, I am! Burdened with glorious purpose—messin with mortals, stirrin the pot. Did ya know, back in Victorian days, they called em “soiled doves”? Poetic, but grim—history’s wild like that.

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So, I’m trying to clean up when I see this cute girl walkin’ by. She’s got this killer smile, and I’m like, “Okay, maybe today’s my lucky day.” I muster up some courage and say, “Hey, nice dog!” She laughs and says, “That’s not mine!” Classic.

Official: Russian army shells village in Kharkiv region 14 times over past day